How to stop avoiding difficult decisions
Okay, here's the text: I used to be a master of avoidance. Faced with a tough decision, especially one that could lead to uncomfortable conversations or potential failure, I’d find a million other things to do. Cleaning the house, reorganizing my sock drawer, even tackling my taxes felt more appealing than confronting the issue at hand.
This went on for years, creating a backlog of unresolved problems that only grew bigger and more daunting over time. It wasn’t laziness, though. I truly believed I was protecting myself from pain. If I didn't make a decision, nothing bad could happen, right? Wrong. The constant anxiety of knowing these issues were lurking actually created far more stress than any potential outcome could have. The turning point came when I realized I was missing out on opportunities.
A promotion I wanted required a difficult conversation with my boss about my current role. A strained relationship with a family member needed addressing. These things weren't going to magically fix themselves. So, I started small. I broke down the decision-making process into manageable steps. First, I identified the specific decision I was avoiding.
I wrote it down. This helped me to see it clearly, without the emotional fog. Next, I listed all the possible options. I didn’t judge them; I just brainstormed. Even the seemingly ridiculous options went on the list. The point was to open my mind to possibilities. Then, for each option, I listed the potential pros and cons. Be honest with yourself here.
Don’t sugarcoat anything. Acknowledge the potential downsides. This helped me see the risks and rewards more clearly. The hardest part was visualizing the worst-case scenario for each option. What’s the absolute worst thing that could happen if I chose this path? Could I handle it? Usually, the answer was yes. Facing the worst-case scenario head-on diminished its power. Once I had all the information laid out, I gave myself a deadline.
This was crucial. Without a deadline, I'd just keep procrastinating. I told myself, "I will make a decision by [date]." To stay accountable, I shared my decision-making process with a friend. Just talking about it made it less scary. He offered encouragement and reminded me of my strengths. Finally, when the deadline arrived, I made a choice.
I didn't overthink it. I trusted my gut and went with the option that felt right. The first few times were terrifying. I felt my heart racing, my palms sweating. But you know what? It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had imagined. And the relief I felt afterward was incredible. Now, I still get anxious when facing tough decisions, but I don't avoid them anymore.
I use the same process every time: identify, brainstorm, pros/cons, worst-case scenario, deadline, accountability, and choose. It’s not a perfect system, but it works for me. It's about progress, not perfection. It's about building that muscle to face the things that scare you because, on the other side of those decisions, lies growth and opportunity. Comments: Name: John I would recommend meditating on the problem!
Just 5 minutes a day of quiet reflection can often bring clarity and reduce anxiety around difficult choices.
Name: Sarah I totally relate! I'd also add breaking the problem down into smaller, more manageable tasks. Sometimes, the big picture is overwhelming, but tackling one piece at a time makes it less daunting.
Name: Michael I agree with setting a deadline.
I'd also suggest getting a second opinion from someone you trust. Sometimes an outside perspective can help you see things you missed.
Name: Emily I think focusing on your values is important. When you're torn between options, consider which one aligns best with your core beliefs. This can make the decision feel more authentic.
Name: David I use a decision matrix.
List your criteria across the top, then weigh each option against those criteria. The option with the highest score wins. It's a more objective approach.